I’ve grown up surrounded by believers that have said “god bless you” and “all in gods plans” and “trust in god” since the day i was born.

Why do I have to tolerate having your God pushed into my every day life while I fear to tell anyone of my own faith?

Why do I have to politely bow my head at dinner as you pray to your God.

Why do I have to to hear everyone tell me “I’ll pray for you” when that’s not what i believe?

Why do I have to fear telling Christians, Catholics and Baptist alike that I do not believe in their God.

But I am the bad guy if I try to step out of the prayer.

I’m the bad guy if I don’t respond “I’ll pray for you”

I’m the bad guy if I don’t go to church and don’t pray before dinner, before bed, before a big event.

We are the land of the free and that means free to choose my own religion.

We don’t have to mock and belittle and even threaten each other.

We can live in peace and be respectful of one another.

If you can proudly stand and pray to a God that I don’t believe in. Why can I not proudly stand and pray to that which I do believe?

A place I’ve always wanted to visit, might seem to be a silly thing to you. But it’s full of warmth and love and once your their you’ll have no fears.

A place I’ve always wanted to visit has no streets or roads or houses. But it’s never empty and always full of cheer and love and laughter to fill your ears.

A place I’ve always wanted to visit is somewhere most visit daily. But to me it seems to be a place I’ll never reach and a place I’ll never be.

It took me so long to learn that self care is not just warm baths, face masks and lazy days.

Self care is the hard stuff.

It’s getting up and showering on the days you’d rather not leave the warmth and weight of your blankets.

It’s going to the kitchen and making yourself a home cooked meal when you would rather just drive thru McDonald’s.

Self care is sweeping and vacuuming the house when you would rather put it off for another day, and putting your laundry away on days it seems easier to just leave it in the basket.

It’s brushing your teeth and taking your medications on days it would be simpler not to at all.

It’s going for a walk when you’d rather just sit in front of the tv, and doing the dishes when they feel too overwhelming.

Self care isn’t always easy. Somedays self care is the hardest thing in the world. But it is worth it.

You are worth it.

I want to grow with you. To laugh, to cry, to love with you. I want you by my side through all the hardships and wins. I want you to hold my hand and tell me we will make it through this. I want to cry on your shoulder and laugh endlessly next to you. I want to wake up everyday ready to take on the world with you. I want to never have a doubt that I can lean on you when things get hard. I want a love that is full of passion and understanding. A love that others will be jealous of. That our children will be sickened by. I want a love that is undying and always growing. I know it’s not easy. But I know it will be the most amazing thing. To love with you. To grow, with you.

Before the summer started I asked you to teach me how to ride a bike you were delighted.

A few days later you took me on a ride. I loved it, then you asked me if I wanted to drive. I said no, I was nervous. I didn’t know you.

Then we started hanging out. A few days a week to almost every day. I began to fall for you. I thought you were falling for me too. Months went by and you finally took me on another ride. This time you didn’t ask me if I wanted to drive.

A few weeks go by and I finally get my own bike, I still don’t know how to drive. But dad said he would teach me!

One lesson, I kind of know how to drive. You still won’t ask me to go on another ride. Guy time right?

You barely talk to me anymore but I guess that’s OK we started talking so I could learn to ride a bike, and now I know how so, I guess we’re done right?

Thanks for teaching me how to ride a bike. Well I guess you taught me something…… Right?

Happiness is just an illusion. One that we all hope to have glazed over our eyes

But I guess I wipe my eyes to much, destroying that beautiful glaze.
Or perhaps I am just not meant to feel that….


Happiness

I am a strong woman.
No not physically, but mentally and emotional I am strong. I am a woman who should not be taken for granted. I will cross oceans and climb mountains for those I love. I will go out of my way to help someone in need, and I almost always put myself last. I let people walk all over me because I care more about their happiness than my own.
I let my friends treat me badly because I think I do not deserve any better.

Or so I thought..

But now I see how precious I am. How unique I am.
I am the type of women who is a once in a life time. I am hard to handle and am overbearing more times than not. But that is only because I care so deeply.

I will ask you where you are or how you are doing because I want to know you are safe. I will want to be around you every moment I possibly can, because I truly enjoy your company. I will understand when you have bad days and be content with sitting in silence with you while you work through your problems.
I will smile with you when you win, big or small, no matter the day I am having. I will enjoy listening to you talk about the things you love, no matter how boring it may be, all because I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about it and the smile of pure happiness on your face.

When I fall in love with you, I fall so in love with you that I will do anything for you. Not because I want someone to lean on. But because I am so strong I want to share it with all I love. I want everyone to understand how strong they really are.

I am a strong woman, once in a lifetime and so amazing. I love myself first. So that I can love you more.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton